Do You Need A Hug? The Science Of Twelve Hugs A Day For Healthy Human Connection

“We need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth.” — Virginia Satir

The humble hug has a lot to say for itself. With proven benefits for our physical health, emotional wellbeing and resilience to stress, a comforting embrace is far more than just a simple social ritual. As renowned family therapist Virginia Satir famously declared: “We need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth.”

However, modern society also presents us with a problem, pushing us back from achieving the number of hugs Satir suggested. By succumbing to an increasingly digital existence, are we forgetting the power that touch can bring to our lives and the lives of others? The answer goes deeper than you might think.

Why touch matters

Going back to childhood, touch is one of the first ways we make sense of the new world all around us. Skin-to-skin contact is absolutely essential for a newborn baby, without it they would not survive. This same logic seems to stretch, in more subtle ways, beyond adolescence and into our adult lives, too.

Studies reveal that hugging as a type of contact triggers the release of oxytocin, known as the “bonding hormone.” It is a chemical that promotes feelings of trust and attachment while simultaneously reducing stress and even strengthening our immune system.

So it’s not just for babies and children. Research also tells us how it creates a sense of belonging in all life stages. This way, a hug can be thought of as a universal language that transcends words, provides reassurance and connection, and also comfort when we need it most.

According to a study involving over 400 participants, those who received frequent hugs were less likely to develop severe symptoms after being exposed to a common cold virus.

Quite astoundingly, the researchers found that hugs directly contributed to 32% of the health benefits provided by emotional support during stressful times.

How touch impacts health conditions

The absence of touch doesn't just impact our emotional well-being. It can manifest physically, with the potential to both exacerbate and initiate health problems.

Tiffany Field, founder of the Touch Research Institute, believes that a lack of physical contact can contribute to conditions like fibromyalgia and irritable bowel syndrome. These syndromes, previously more common in adults, are now appearing with greater frequency in younger people, potentially due to heightened stress and reduced touch in their lives.

The calming effect of hugging

Not limited to fighting off colds, affectionate touch, including hugging, has been shown to regulate the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, a system which controls the body’s stress response.

In one study, participants who reported more daily hugs experienced a reduced cortisol awakening response (CAR), a key marker of morning stress levels. By curbing excessive cortisol release, hugs prepare us to handle daily stress more effectively.

Emotional resilience through touch

Alike the anti-stress and immune-boosting benefits, the emotional benefits of hugs appear to be just as significant. It seems so instinctive that physical touch helps us process and recover from conflict. But, the research points out just how poignant this effect is.

In a two-week study of over 400 adults, participants who received hugs on days of interpersonal conflict reported less negative mood and a quicker return to positive feelings. These benefits were consistent across gender, marital status, and baseline social support levels, revealing the truly universal value of hugs at play in real time.

What is touch starvation?

By contrast, the absence of touch is known as "touch starvation", and its effects can be pretty detrimental, often leading to intense feelings of isolation and heightened stress.

The COVID-19 pandemic offered a stark example of this phenomenon on a grand scale. Social distancing and reduced physical contact left many people grappling with increased anxiety and loneliness.

This deprivation came with significant consequences, including sleep disturbances, behavioural issues, and increased stress. It paints a bleak image, but it does, on the other hand, point to the true significance of touch and connection for our health.

It might seem like a strange suggestion, for surely we all know how to hug and it should come quite naturally. Yet, research indicates that physical connection through acts like hugging is decreasing in today's society. The study "Lost Touch? Implications of Physical Touch for Physical Health" published in The Journals of Gerontology: Series B discusses how the COVID-19 pandemic has led to a "new normal" where people are hesitant to engage in physical touch again, such as handshakes, reducing everyday sources of touch.

Reasons to squeeze in more daily hugs:

What happens when we don’t get enough hugs? It could be said that the effects are both immediate and long-term. While lack of physical touch is linked to higher levels of stress, anxiety, and depression in the short term, over time, these emotional strains can manifest as serious health issues, spanning from weakened immunity to cardiovascular issues.

Hugs for the good of our relationships

But the absence of touch isn’t just about emotion. It also meddles with relationships. Fascinating research demonstrates a lack of physical connection, including hugs, can erode trust, deepen misunderstandings, and leave conflicts unresolved.

By fully acknowledging the importance of hugs in our daily lives, we can help to rebuild our sense of connection, empathy and compassion that the dissonance of the digital world may have disrupted.

What to remember

To the naked eye, hugs may appear just a kind gesture, or even just a social formality. However, this is far from the truth. Hugs, represented in leading scientific research, are viewed as deep concern for our health and wellbeing on many levels. Our cardiovascular and immune health relies on it, so do our relationships and, ultimately, our sense of belonging.

So next time you are thinking of skipping on a hug goodbye, maybe it's best to prioritise this simple action of connection, extending the true power of the hug for your own good and the good of everyone you touch.

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Further reading: Social Support And Community, Benefits For The Mind

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